how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
