oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
