I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize