dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
