benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Randomize