Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
