Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
