Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
