He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
