You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I love you. Go after that dick
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
