Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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