You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
