You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so let's talk penis.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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