Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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