come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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