guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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