i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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