And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
