it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
