question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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