Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
