i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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