she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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