Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You made out with two different species that night
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
