office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
