Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
