Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
