I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
