She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
