Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
