What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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