i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
