youre lurking in front of me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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