covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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