I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
