"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
