You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
