He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
