i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
