If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
