my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
