FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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