My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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