On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
