the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
