the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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