I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
