Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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