I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
