kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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