Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
