I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
