Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
