quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
