but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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