I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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