R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
do herpes really smell.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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