wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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