How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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