With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
