I puked a lego.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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