somebody snuck up and got me drunk
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
