can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
