Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize