I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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