google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
