she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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