chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
