I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
