Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize