It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my being single is dangerous.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize