Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
