You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
