Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
