I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
