weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
