absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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