you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
