I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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