yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
